Writing to God: 40 Days of Praying with My Pen, by Rachel G. Hackenberg, published by Paraclete Press 2011, 100 pages, paperback
A minister friend of mine said she was working through this book back in 2014. I was interested. I respected her opinion – we shared the same taste in books.
Writing to God is exactly what it says. The book is created to be used as a meditative practice. Each day includes a few thoughts by the author, a truth and a Bible passage with suggested direction to take your writing.
The first year I owned this book I did not make it to the end. I did not write anything. I read and thought. I was not ready for it.
This year I pulled it out once again. I was ready. I was inspired to write my prayers and share them on my blog Domestic Mobility. This in turn inspired others to write and some even started their own journal to God.
The prayers I wrote were honest. Some were raw. Some were upsetting for me and for others. But by the end of the 40 days I was a different person spiritually.
It also helped me with my problem …
I have always thought that pretending in church was wrong, like lying to an entire body of believers with the permission of the leadership. We need to be honest, authentic (the new buzz word), real – we need to just be ourselves.
But this takes practice for me. I spent my whole life trying to be someone I wasn’t to get attention, to get the job, to get the raise, to graduate, to keep friends, to be a wife, to raise kids … everything.
I will be honest and depend on God for strength and wisdom to live my days. I will be raw when needed and love the friends that are uncomfortable or reprimand me or leave me. I will be me, more me each day, as God reveals it.
Seriously, I don’t know who I am because I have always wanted to be someone I am not. Only God knows who I am, so I ask Him daily to guide me.
It’s a process.
This book really helped in that process.
For more about Hackenberg, go to http://rachelhackenberg.com/